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5 Subtle Signs of Trauma: When You're Dealing with More Than You Think
When you think about someone experiencing trauma, incidents such as a violent or sexual assault or a terrible car accident might come to mind. Those are very traumatic and are more obvious trauma experiences, but there are also other, subtler forms of trauma that can negatively affect our lives and hinder our relationships. These sometimes go under the radar or get dismissed because they are more subtle.
Emotional trauma is often overlooked and minimized, and we may think we’ve “gotten over” some emotional pain that we’ve simply buried, and not dealt with. A break up, being passed over for a promotion at work, or even a simple but negative childhood experience can cause emotional trauma. Read on to see if you recognize any of these four subtle signs of trauma in yourself.
When you think about someone experiencing trauma, incidents such as a violent or sexual assault or a terrible car accident might come to mind. Those are very traumatic and are more obvious trauma experiences, but there are also other, subtler forms of trauma that can negatively affect our lives and hinder our relationships. These sometimes go under the radar or get dismissed because they are more subtle.
Emotional trauma is often overlooked and minimized, and we may think we’ve “gotten over” some emotional pain that we’ve simply buried, and not dealt with. A break up, being passed over for a promotion at work, or even a simple but negative childhood experience can cause emotional trauma. Read on to see if you recognize any of these four subtle signs of trauma in yourself.
Feeling Overwhelmed
Anxiety and stress may develop in the aftermath of trauma, causing you to feel overwhelmed in numerous ways. You might feel out of control, like there is too much to do, or that people in your life are taking up too much of your time and attention. If you often feel as though your life has become unmanageable, this could be a sign that you have some unresolved emotional trauma.
Overreacting
Emotional overreactions are a common symptom of trauma. A victim of trauma might redirect their overwhelming emotions towards others, such as family and friends. Because these undealt with emotions are always bubbling under the surface, any incident that brings feelings forward can unleash these pent-up emotions. If you can recall times when you’ve overreacted, and perhaps have even been surprised at your own reactions, this may be a sign of trauma.
Shame
It’s not uncommon for people suffering from emotional trauma to have feelings of shame and self-blame. If you have feelings of shame because of a traumatic event, you may devalue yourself or see yourself as weak. You might feel a stigma from what you endured, and this may prevent you from admitting that you may be traumatized, or prevent you from seeking help.
Daydreaming
Another subtle sign of trauma is “zoning” or “spacing out.” You might feel disconnected from others or have difficulty staying present in social situations. Emotional trauma can cause you to slow down internally, numbing your emotions or causing you to feel exhausted. Because of the trauma you experienced, you may be averse to the expression of painful emotions, so you turn those emotions off. As you withdraw, your relationships with others suffer, causing you further psychological pain.
Physical Illness or Pain
Often times when emotional pain is buried and/or ignored, the body naturally finds a way to release it in one way or another. Sometimes this comes out in physical bodily pains, illness, disease, or allergies. Emotional, mental, and physical health are intertwined so unresolved emotional pain may come out in your physical body.
If these signs seem familiar and you believe you may be suffering from trauma, help is available. A caring, mental health professional trained in trauma treatment can help. Take the first step by giving us a call today, and let’s set up a time to talk.
Do You Have C-PTSD?
You have most likely heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – also known as PTSD. It is used to describe the mental and emotional anguish suffered by those who have experienced sudden trauma, usually a one time incident. PTSD is often experienced by soldiers as well as those who have been victims of rape and other crimes, and even victims of house fires and car accidents.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) describes a condition that very much presents like PTSD, the difference being the sufferer experienced prolonged periods of abuse or neglect. This could happen as a result of childhood abuse/neglect or the abuse suffered at the hands of a narcissistic partner.
You have most likely heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – also known as PTSD. It is used to describe the mental and emotional anguish suffered by those who have experienced sudden trauma, usually a one time incident. PTSD is often experienced by soldiers as well as those who have been victims of rape and other crimes, and even victims of house fires and car accidents.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) describes a condition that very much presents like PTSD, the difference being the sufferer experienced prolonged periods of abuse or neglect. This could happen as a result of childhood abuse/neglect or the abuse suffered at the hands of a narcissistic partner.
Diagnosing C-PTSD
Diagnosing C-PTSD is tricky because the symptoms are usually not very unique. That is to say, someone who is suffering from C-PTSD may be experiencing anxiety and lethargy, but these symptoms match other mental health issues.
But it is very important to accurately diagnose C-PTSD because of the necessary treatment measures. The main difference between C-PTSD and other mental health issues – say, bipolar disorder – is that C-PTSD is a result of things that were done TO an individual, and not an intrinsic problem. In other words, someone suffers from C-PTSD because of abuse and neglect at the hands of another and not because of genetically determined brain chemistry.
To help correctly identify C-PTSD, a therapist must uncover an accurate history to understand if:
The individual has experienced multiple prolonged traumas that have lasted for months (or even years)
The traumas were caused by someone the individual had a deep interpersonal relationship with and/or someone who was part of their primary care network (most commonly a parent or caregiver)
These traumas were experienced as permanent features of life, with the individual unable to see any end in sight
The individual had no control or power over the person traumatizing them
Symptoms of C-PTSD
As I just mentioned, the outward symptoms of C-PTSD may match other mental health disorders. Those symptoms include:
Flashbacks and nightmares in which the trauma is relived.
Avoiding people, places, and situations that remind them of the trauma.
Dizziness or nausea when remembering the trauma.
Hyperarousal. This is a state of high alert and one they often lived in.
A belief that the world is a dangerous place.
A loss of trust in self or others.
Difficulty sleeping and concentrating.
Being startled by loud noises.
Treatment for C-PTSD
There are a few different treatment options for people suffering from C-PTSD:
Psychotherapy
Therapy can take place on a one-to-one basis or in a group setting. The focus will be on addressing feelings, improving connections with others, and dealing with anxiety and flashbacks.
EMDR
EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. This is a process that uses eye movement to help a person desensitize their reactions to a specific traumatic event. The result is the person can eventually recall the memory but have no emotional reaction to it.
Medication
Some individuals may need to be on medications for a while to reduce their anxiety. A therapist can work with you to determine if this is the best course of action.
If you believe you are suffering from C-PTSD and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Here’s How Social Isolation Affects Your Health
Many of us experienced social isolation during the pandemic. I imagine none of us will deny that those days and weeks were very hard. Thankfully, the pandemic is over, and life for the majority of us has returned to normal. But for some people, social isolation didn’t go away; it is a part of their “normal” existence.
Keep reading to find out common causes and effects of social isolation and how you can learn to cope.
Many of us experienced social isolation during the pandemic. I imagine none of us will deny that those days and weeks were very hard. Thankfully, the pandemic is over, and life for the majority of us has returned to normal. But for some people, social isolation didn’t go away; it is a part of their “normal” existence.
Common Causes of Social Isolation
There are a variety of circumstances that cause people to be isolated from others, or to choose to isolate themselves:
An abusive relationship – People in toxic relationships often choose to avoid contact with friends and family because they wish to hide their reality from others.
Grief – It is common to isolate oneself after losing a loved one. This is particularly true for many seniors who have lost many loved ones and friends.
Mental health issues – Anxiety, depression and low self-esteem can often result in a desire to isolate oneself from the rest of society.
Physical challenges – Those with limited mobility or other physical challenges may decide life is easier and safer at home.
The Effects of Social Isolation on Your Health
We know there is a strong mind-body connection. How we feel emotionally effects how we feel physically. Studies are now revealing how social isolation can negatively impact our health. Here are just some of the effects on your health:
Reduced immune function
Trouble sleeping (which leads to inflammation and a disruption of hormones)
Poor cardiovascular health
Poor cognitive function
Greater chance of stroke
Decreased wound healing
Increased risk of dementia
Higher risks of premature mortality
Coping With Social Isolation
If you are isolated from others for any reason, it is important to recognize you may be suffering mentally, emotionally, and/or physically. Here are some ways you can cope with the situation:
Practice self-care
Get outside
Reconnect with hobbies and interests
Get help
If you would like to speak to someone about your anxiety or depression caused by isolation as well as the reasons for the isolation, please reach out to me. I offer online therapy for those who feel more comfortable accessing help from home.
SOURCES:
https://publichealth.tulane.edu/blog/effects-of-social-isolation-on-mental-health/
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/social-isolation-mental-health
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/isolation-and-mental-health
What is Complex Trauma and What Causes it?
Little “t” traumas (Complex-Trauma) are when someone is repeatedly exposed to extremely threatening events from which they are unable to escape such as, prolonged bullying or harrassment, prolonged emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, prolonged captivity, prolonged domestic violence, prolonged discrimination, or being a refuge.
Most of us won’t get through life without our own fair share of stress and heartache. But some people experience not just stress, sadness or grief, but actual trauma. There are two categories of trauma commonly referred to as: Big “”T trauma and Little “t” trauma (also known as complex trauma).
Big “T” Trauma
Big “T” traumas are isolated incidents such as, being involved in a bad car accident, an isolated rape incident, a natural disaster, or war. The result of experiencing big “T” trauma events is called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), a condition where the mind is unable to process the event as it processes ordinary life events. The result is a brain that misfires information, causing the person to live much of their life distressed, as if the event were still happening to them.
Little “t” trauma
Little “t” traumas (Complex-Trauma) are when someone is repeatedly exposed to extremely threatening events from which they are unable to escape such as, prolonged bullying or harrassment, prolonged emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, prolonged captivity, prolonged domestic violence, prolonged discrimination, or being a refuge. Although little “t” traumas may seem less significant because they are not as life threatening as big “T” traumas, the reality is sometimes little “t” traumas can cause more emotional harm than big “T” traumas. The result of little “t” traumas is Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). C-PTSD can also develop from traumas experienced during a child’s developmental years such as, childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, exposure to domestic violence, having a parent with an untreated mental illness, and having a parent who abuses alcohol or other substances.
Symptoms of PTSD (results of Big “T” traumas):
• Nightmares
• Flashbacks
• Psychological and physiological distress at reminders
• Avoidance of internal and external reminders
• Dissociative amnesia
• Negative beliefs about oneself and the world
• Distorted blaming of oneself
• Negative persistent emotional states
• Loss of interests
• Detachment from loved ones
• Hyper vigilance
• Exaggerated startle response
• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability or outbursts of anger
• Self-destructive or reckless behavior
Symptoms of C-PTSD (results of Little “t” traumas)":
Includes all the same symptoms of PTSD in addition to any of the following:
Re-experiencing Symptoms:
Flashbacks, such as vivid images, overwhelming emotions, or disturbing sensations
Nightmares or wake up in a fright
Thinking about the traumatic events at an inconvenient time
Reliving traumatic events
Feeling triggered in a way that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, shaky, anxious, shutdown, helpless, and/or collapsed
Avoidance Symptoms:
Staying away from people or places that remind you of traumatic events
Tendency to withdraw or isolate yourself
Relying on alcohol, substances, nicotine, or food to avoid feeling your pain
Spending hours watching T.V. or playing video games
Difficulty admitting to yourself that you were abused or neglected
Spending so much time caring for others that you ignore yourself
Perfectionist or highly critical of yourself and others
Focusing so much on work so you don’t have to feel or think about the past
Persistent Perceptions of Current Threat:
Feeling hyper aware or on guard
Startled easily
Finding yourself constantly checking your environment for signs of threats
Always needing an escape plan
Tend to expect the worst
Highly sensitive to subtle changes in other people’s body language and facial expressions
Affect Dysregulation
You tend to cry uncontrollably, even after a minor, everyday challenge
Taking you a long time to feel better after a stressful event
Frequently feeling angry or irritable
Having a hard time controlling your anger
Tend to feel anxious or panicky
Often feel hopeless or depressed
Times when you feel you would be better off dead or you think about suicide
Sometimes you feel the urge to harmself
You tend to spend time with people or in places that are dangerous
You tend to feel numb and cut off from your emotions
Feeling incapable of feeling joy or pleasure
Negative Self-Concept
Feeling like you have little control over your life no matter what you do
Often feeling ineffective or powerless
Feeling like a failure
Believing that you are damaged
Having little hope for your future
Often feeling ashamed, guilty, or unworthy
Feeling as though something is wrong with you
Difficulty finding a sense of purpose or meaning to your life
Interpersonal Disturbances
Feeling disconnected from other people
Tendency to avoid spending time with other people
Difficulty trusting other people or knowing who you can trust
Difficulty doing things on your own or feeling that you rely to heavily on other people
Terrified of being left or abandoned by others
Finding it difficult to hear other people’s viewpoints or perspectives
Tendencies to avoid conflict
Dissociative Symptoms:
Sometimes finding yourself staring into space or realize that you have been daydreaming for long periods of time
Difficulty paying attention or getting distracted easily
Suddenly getting tired, feeling far away, or as if you’re looking at the world through a fog
Are there times when people, objects, or the world feels unreal
Sometimes feeling disconnected from your body or emotionally numb
Feeling like you are different people in different situations
Sometimes feeling, acting, or talking like a younger person
Difficulty remembering broad periods of your life
Sometimes arriving at places and don’t know how you got there, or find things that you have bought but don’t remember buying them
How Can Complex Trauma be Treated?
One of the most effective forms of treatment for C-PTSD is something called an integrative, mind-body approach. This kind of therapy involves meeting with a trauma therapist over a number of sessions to learn techniques that will reduce symptoms of C-PTSD, re-processing traumatic memories, and finding emotional freedom. Beyond finding a trained therapist, it’s important to find one you feel comfortable with, so make sure to interview a few candidates to see who might help you on your journey to healing.
If you or a loved one are suffering from C-PTSD and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to see how I may be able to help.
SOURCES
https://psychcentral.com/disorders/ptsd/posttraumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-causes/
The Truth About Perfectionism
Perfectionism can often be a by-product of what’s already going on inside a person. It may be a symptom of deeper rooted problems including stress, anxiety, depression, burn out, or OCD.
We live in a society that values things that appear perfect. And I suppose there are things that can be perfect. Architects can draw the perfect straight line, mathematicians can solve an equation with a perfect calculation, and a chocolate cake can be perfectly moist.
But as human beings, we can never reach a state of perfection because we will always be a work in progress. Perfection indicates a finality – a finished product – but we as humans are always growing and changing.
What is Perfectionism?
Many people view perfectionism as a positive attribute. They believe the more “perfect” they are, the more success they will have in life.
Perfectionism is NOT the same thing as always doing your best. It is important that we always do our best. By doing so, we can experience healthy achievements and growth. But perfectionism takes this concept to the extreme.
People with perfectionist tendencies often have self-defeating thoughts and/or behaviors that actually make it HARDER to achieve their goals.
Perfectionism can often be a by-product of what’s already going on inside a person. It may be a symptom of deeper rooted problems including stress, anxiety, depression, burn out, or OCD. Perfectionism can lead to more serious negative consequences as well, including depression, eating disorders, or suicide. Perfectionism can also have a negative impact on the individual’s relationships because they come to expect perfectionism from everyone around them.
Signs to Look For
Most human beings, from time to time, will strive for perfectionism in some aspect of their life. As an example, that “perfectly moist chocolate cake” I mentioned earlier got that way because the person who baked it was trying to get everything JUST RIGHT as a gift for someone’s birthday.
But there are those people who are “full-time” perfectionists. They strive for perfection in all aspects of their life.
Here are some signs you may be a perfectionist:
You don’t like to attempt tasks or activities unless you feel you can complete them perfectly.
You are end-oriented, meaning you focus little on the process of creating or learning something and put all of the emphasis on the outcome.
You cannot see a task as having been completed unless it meets your perfectionist standards.
You tend to procrastinate because you don’t like starting a task until you know you can perfectly complete it.
You tend to take far longer completing tasks than others. This can be problematic at work.
Getting Help
Again, perfectionism is not the same thing as doing your best. It is a condition whereby the individual is almost incapable of feeling joy or pride at what they accomplish because in their own minds, they are never quite good enough.
If you believe you may have traits of perfectionism and it is causing you stress, there are things you can do to find healing and freedom so you can live a healthier and happier life.
Therapy and counseling is often helpful in treating perfectionism. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.